I guess I was wrong

Help is out there, I've told,

Help is out there, I've been told,

Was it a lie that was just sold?

So lonely as if I'm already old.

"We're best friends, where would I go?"

Oh well, I was just told so,

I thought I was only losing one in the end,

Lost them all when I was ready to become death's friend.

I needed them to bowl, catch and field with me.

Expected to be stumped, bowled or run out for three.

How steep was that roller coaster semester

All I felt was like Kevin Pietersen in Old Trafford, Manchester.

Bruises, scratches, hives and burns.

Punches, blades, poison now's your turn.

Self harm is just like a physics undergrad learning physics at his own pace,

Hurts so good yet I've barely scratched the surface.

Can barely function without drugs,

Antidepressants, caffeine, cannibis and alcoholic's hugs.

Seeing me inebriated makes them shrug,

All I think of is the noose's neck tug.

"I understand how you feel"

"Talk to me, what is your deal?!"

Too broken to feel

Debris so far gone, it's impossible to heal.

So many days and nights gone

Hesitating to press your contact on my phone,

It's too late now, all you've left me is the dialer tone.

They left me during my worst

Left me alone in pain for so long

But I guess I was wrong,

Because I pushed them away first.