Forever?

My fear that cast me away

away from your arms, hugs and charm

the same fear of the disease to my self harm

yet I kept watching it eat your brain away

Pains the both of us

far from what we used to be

from news of death to name of your crush

further you slip away from me

I'd call you if I could get myself to

but I'm too far lost to reach out to you

I'd fall into your arms and cry like we always do

but now I'm too afraid I don't mean that much to you

Times we spent venting to eachother

your love is that which I've never even felt from my mother

Nights of winter under the tree we held eachother

now gone are the days where we don't even greet one another

Perhaps I punished you for the mistakes I made

I can understand why you let our friendship fade

Oftentimes you come up in my therapy

Not enough time for you to be with me

I hide my feelings, to not burden you

we've had our miscommunications too

you always say, "I'm here for you"

but why did I hesitate to say, "me too."

I have lost myself waiting to call you

but I feel ashamed for all the truths I have hid from you

I know you're willing to empathise with me 

Was it so wrong of me to protect you from me?