Catapult or Cliff

Is this a catapult or a cliff?
Wouldn't know because I'm holding it so stiff.
Letting you go in my mind.
Would i be vulnerable as if you were my rind?
Never before have i loved one the way i loved you,
don't mind the loved as i say it as a ruse.
Can't forget you .
Can't lose you.
Letting go in my mind,
maybe for real I should to see what else I can find.
Blissful memories filled with our smiles,
might just lose them in the further miles.
My heart belongs to you,
but yours to someone else.
Is this a catapult or a cliff?
Letting go could push me up high.
Leaving it could pull me down low.
I made you my Queen but i played the wrong gambit,
you traded and left this King hanging.
Off you go my Queen
while I'm busy in a perpetual,
as this Endgame of ours is a pinnacle.
This might not be a fight,
there is no draws in this games of the knight.
I try and try to resign,
O do i still wish you were mine.