Was it too much i asked for?

Never did I get anything I desired,

Never did I get anything for me,

Always wandering on this Earth,

Yet my thoughts wonder in some Universe.

A universe, unique to me,

Free from those people who I cared the most,

Those people who didn't care back,

Sitting there by the trunk of the tree of wisdom,

Asking why?

Why did this happen?

Why did it go wrong?

Why won't they be with me?

Answered the tree,

" The answer always lies within you,

Even though you talk of respect,

I've never seen it with you,

Always given by,

But you've never given it to yourself?

Search, my dear, search

For that answer that you never sought,

For that question you always thought."

I hesitated,

My universe folded,

Imploded, my universe taking my hopes with itself,

I asked myself,

"Is it true that I gave too much respect to them than they actually deserved? Or

Is it true that I didn't give myself any?"

Still stood, my heart was,

Bleeding from the wounds they've made by leaving me,

Those wounds which always multiplied but never healed,

Those wounds for which the scars were mere permanent.

Was it too hard for me to leave them?

Was it too easy for you to forget my existence?

You mistook my

Shy as awkwardness,

Innocence as Stupidity,

Respect as lameness,

But did you stop there?

You mistook my beautiful life as Idiocracy.

All these in my mind and yet I still have the courage to make my emotions stealth .

Only my pillow knows the amount of tears I shed for you,

Only my bedroom walls resonate my cries,

Only my heart knows the irreversible damage you did to it and yet,

Yet here I am,

I will show up for you,

Always by your side,

Shamelessly, even though you probably never even were reminded of me.

Did I ask you too much?

All I ever asked is friendship,

Why is so hard?

Is it rocket science? 

If it is, I promise I will learn it for you

All those words you say,

That I'm useless,

That I'm lame,

That I'm dumb,

That I'm a nobody,

That I can't,

They hurt, coz

When you smile, I do expecting you would too smile at me,

No you wouldn't, because you were too busy insulting me.

Has it ever occurred to you,

That I might be feeling those words,

Crying on the inside?

No, for you it didn't.

Has it ever occurred to you,

That the only reason I always come to you is just to be Happy?

You always make it a reason to say I'm wierd, but

Why didn't you ever ask me why I am what I looked like?

I know, it's too much that I expect all that,

For you it may look like I've asked too much but,

I'm only asking what I have given.